how caring for aging parents affects a career
Having chosen the child-free life, I didn’t expect that caring for loved ones would play any significant role in my career path. But I didn’t factor in my mom and dad. Like many in my generation, I never fully considered the potential need to care for my aging parents.
Foregoing children was a complicated, difficult decision for me. It was riddled with fears about my parenting abilities, an irrational terror of labor pains, and the reality that I simply never felt ready. But once the decision was behind me, I enjoyed my marriage and career largely unfettered, supportive of my colleagues with kids, yet never imagining that I’d experience anything like the comings and goings of maternity leave that presented them with so many challenges. That is, until my parents began to age.
ako sa spozná falošná Rubikova kocka?
what people think about women, men and feminists
the girl who cried bear
Mostly, I see now, she told the story as a metaphor for the eternal Mantra of All Mothers, a mantra that only now, as a mother am I initiated into, a mantra which is: I tried my best. It wasn’t enough. But it could have been worse.
40 starých fotiek - na tejto je dieťa, ktoré “venčia” v klietke na paneláku, aby malo dosť slniečka a čerstvého vzduchu (okolo roku 1937)
Stephen Hawking zorganizoval party pre cestovateľov v čase. A dal o nej vedieť až potom, ako skončila:
Rodičia starajúci sa o deti na jednotke intenzívnej starostlivosti (Toronto) – kiežby sa to rozmohlo! (Len na porovnanie – jedna sestrička počas Kubkovo pobytu na Kramároch pred dvoma týždňami spomínala, že pre nedostatok miesta na oddelení (nie JIS) uvažujú, že by okrem kojacich matiek nepovoľovali pobyt rodičov. Teraz tam rodičia deti kŕmia, kúpu, uspávajú, hrajú sa s nimi, ukľudňujú ich… potom ich tam budú mať dvakrát viac a toto všetko bude robiť kto?)
Parents have long been encouraged to spend time with their babies in the NICU, but they were typically more observers than participants, often feeling helpless and lost as they sat by their child’s isolette watching every breath, trying to make sense of the monitors and startling at every bell or buzzer around them.
“With family integrated care, we have done something quite different,” explains Dr. Shoo Lee, pediatrician-in-chief and director of the Maternal-Infant Care Research Centre.
“What we’ve done is to say that for all babies in the NICU, the parents should be the primary caregivers, not the nurses. And the nurses are really teachers to the parents.”
The program was instituted following a 2011-2012 pilot project in which the parents of 40 newborns were asked to spend a minimum of eight hours a day in the NICU and tasked with the overall management of their child’s care.
That included bathing and changing diapers, monitoring the infant’s vital signs, and recording feedings and weight gain on their medical chart. Nurses were responsible for the medical side of care — looking after feeding tubes, adjusting ventilation apparatus and administering medications.
The babies’ progress was compared with those whose care was primarily provided by nurses, and Lee says “the results were phenomenal.”
“There was a 25 per cent improvement in weight gain of the babies who were looked after by the parents,” he says. “Breastfeeding rates doubled from 40-something per cent to over 80 per cent. Infection rates fell from 11 per cent in the nurse group to zero in the parent group. Treatment errors dropped by 25 per cent. Parental satisfaction went up, parental stress went down.
toto máme aj u nás:
Aj vďaka Kmotričkám sa z matiek stávajú sebavedomé ženy, ktoré sa dokážu postarať o seba a svoje dieťa.
making the political personal
When the judge asked me ‘What is the reason for this name change?’ I said ‘….Feminism?’ She smiled and said ‘So noted.’ When the judge asked Dave ‘What is the reason for this name change?’ he said ‘Because I love my wife.’
Ak je to príliš rýchle, tu sú slová (zvýraznenie moje):
I thought it was ok
I could understand their reasons
They said ‘There might be a man or a nervous child seeing’
this small piece of flesh that they weren’t quite expecting
so I whispered and tiptoed with nervous discretion.
But after six months of her life sat sitting on lids
Sipping on her milk nostrils sniffing up piss
Trying not to bang her head on toilet roll dispensers
I wonder whether these public loo feeds offend her?
Cos I’m getting tired of discretion and being ‘polite’ as my baby’s first sips are drowned drenched in shite,
I spent the first feeding months of her beautiful life
Feeling nervous and awkward and wanting everything right.
Surrounded by family until I stepped out the house
It took me eight weeks to get the confidence to go into town
Now the comments around me cut like a knife
As I rush into toilet cubicles feeling nothing like nice.
Because I’m giving her milk that’s not in a bottle
Wishing the cocaine generation white powder would topple
I see pyramid sales pitches across our green globe
and female breasts banned. Unless they’re out just for show.
And the more I go out, the more I can’t stand it,
I walk into town feel I’m surrounded by bandits
Cos in this country of billboards covered in ‘tits’
and family newsagents’ magazines full of it
Whsmith top shelves out for men – Why don’t you complain about them then?
In this country of billboards covered in ‘tits’
and family newsagents magazines full of it
Whsmith top shelves out for men, I’m getting embarrassed
In case a small flash of flesh might offend.
And I’m mot trying to ‘parade’ this, I don’t want to make a show
But when I’m told I’d be better just staying at home
And when another friend I know is thrown off a bus
And another woman told to get out the pub
Even my grandma said maybe I was ‘sexing it up’.
And I’m sure the milk makers love all this fuss
All the cussing and worry and looks of disgust
As another mother turns from nipples to powder
Ashamed or embarrassed by comments around her and
As I hold her head up and pull my cardy across and she sips on the liquor made by everyones God, I think
For God sake, Jesus drank it
So did Sidhartha, Muhammed and Moses and both of their fathers
Ganesh and Shiva and Brighid and Buddha and I’m sure they weren’t doing it sniffing up piss as their mothers sat embarassed on cold toilet lids
In a country of billboards covered in ‘tits’
In a country of low cut tops cleavage and skin
In a country of cloth bags and recycling bins and as I desperately try to take all of it in,
I hold her head up
I can’t get my head round
The anger towards us and not to the sounds
of lorries offloading formula milk
into countries where water runs dripping in filth
In towns where breasts are oasis of life
now dried up in two for one offers, enticed by labels and logos and gold standard rights
claiming ‘breastmilk is healthier powdered and white’
packaged and branded and sold at a price so that nothing is free in this money fuelled life.
Which is fine
If you need it or prefer and can afford to use bottles, where water is clean and bacteria boiled,
but in towns where they drown in pollution and sewage
bottled kids die and they knew that they’d do it
In families where pennies are savoured like sweets
We’re now paying for one thing that’s always been free
In villages empty of hospital beds
babies die, diarrhoea fuelled that breastmilk would end
So no more will I sit on these cold toilet lids
No matter how embarrassed I feel as she sips
Cos in this country of billboards covered in ‘tits’
I think I should try to get used to this.
unbelievable nail houses
tričká, feminizmus, výchova detí a dáta – časť 1. – farby
Accordingly, I have taken to buying all of Madeline’s shirts in the boys section, the result of (her boy-ish haircut and) which is that half the time people refer to her as “he”. This doesn’t terribly bother me, especially if she ends up getting the gender wage premium that people are always yammering about on Facebook, but it makes me wonder why such a stark divide between toddler boy shirts and toddler girl shirts. And, of course, it makes me wonder if the divide is so stark that I can build a model to predict it!
tričká, feminizmus, výchova detí a dáta – časť 2. – vlastné tričká
The [...] table shows, for each of the 10 principal components, the eigenshirt, the shirt with the largest component value, the shirt with the closest-to-zero value, the shirt with the largest negative component value, and the “anti-eigenshirt”.
How likely is the NSA PRISM program to catch a terrorist?
prečo fínske bábätká spia v krabiciach
For 75 years, Finland’s expectant mothers have been given a box by the state. It’s like a starter kit of clothes, sheets and toys that can even be used as a bed. And some say it helped Finland achieve one of the world’s lowest infant mortality rates.
Thus Mazur begins a class with a student-sourced question, then asks students to think the problem through and commit to an answer, which each records using a handheld device (smartphones work fine), and which a central computer statistically compiles, without displaying the overall tally. If between 30 and 70 percent of the class gets the correct answer (Mazur seeks controversy), he moves on to peer instruction. Students find a neighbor with a different answer and make a case for their own response. Each tries to convince the other… After two or three minutes, the students vote again, and typically the percentage of correct answers dramatically improves. Then the cycle repeats.
o tejto fotke (The selective blindness of rape culture)
bezpečnostné inštrukcie v lietadle trochu inak (h/t zuz)
ďalšia dobrá “what if?” esej od autora xkcd - What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?
filter rakovinových buniek inováciou roka (zľahka súvisí: takto si niekedy pripadám)
sveter s netradičným vzorom – rozkladom na prvočísla
čo robiť, keď všetci vaši priatelia začnú mať bábätká – ruská fotografka fotila spiace páry počas tehotenstva
Ja som vcelku tolerantný človek. Ale násilie voči deťom, mladým dievčatám? Keby bolo po mojom, tak vinníci by v týchto prípadoch nielen zaplatili za to, čo urobili, ale by pritom museli trpieť. Kanaďanka Amanda Todd spáchala samovraždu kvôli chlapíkovi, s ktorým sa zoznámila na internete a ktorý ju potom prenasledoval. Dvaja učitelia v Californii sexuálne zneužívali Kristen Cunnane od jej 12tich rokov, jedného za to odsúdili, druhý spáchal samovraždu, ale súd rozhodol aj o tom, že Kristen si za svoje znásilnenie môže sama. (WTF?) Pakistanská matka kyselinou zabila svoju 15-ročnú dcéru, pretože tá sa pozerala na chlapca.
A ešte zopár liniek pri príležitosti tohtotýždňových amerických prezidentských volieb:
Prezident Obama a deti (fotky)
Prezident Obama odpovedá dievčaťu, ktoré má dvoch otcov
“If you were me and you had two dads that loved each other and kids at school teased you about it, what would you do?” And guess what! Obama wrote Sophia back. His advice: “A good rule is to treat others the way you hope they will treat you. Remind your friends at school about this rule if they say something that hurts your feelings.”
Romney a ženy
ženy sú nová väčšina (ešte jedno ďakujem pre Zuz)
But in this election, it became abundantly clear that women’s issues are not fringe issues, and women are not a special interest group. Instead it was women who cast the bulk of the votes this election – 53%, and women who proved the deciding factor, breaking in Barack Obama’s favour by 11 percentage points.
čo vie google o prezidentských voľbách
Political insight: people lie to pollsters, and probably on Facebook. But not to Google’s search bar
aj mama ostane na fotke
But we really need to make an effort to get in the picture. Our sons need to see how young and beautiful and human their mamas were. Our daughters need to see us vulnerable and open and just being ourselves — women, mamas, people living lives. Avoiding the camera because we don’t like to see our own pictures? How can that be okay?
Jednu zimu sme tak platonicky rozmýšľali nad výletom do Fairbanks (na Aljaške). Nakoniec sme nešli (príliš drahé letenky), ale stále platí, že by som sa tam niekedy chcela ísť pozrieť. (Problém bude v rozhodovaní, či v zime – kvôli polárnej žiare – alebo v lete – aby sme mohli aj trochu turistikovať po národných parkoch.) Zatiaľ iba zaujímavé čítanie o tom, aké je to tam s malými deťmi.
ďakovný list konzervatívnym politikom
výborný článok o mozgu – od chladiaceho systému k zariadeniu na rozmýšľanie
zdá sa, že tu (Introducing ‘The Sexes’) možno bude zaujímavé čítanie
childrearing vs parenting – tento článok by som sem najradšej vložila celý (nie je ani dlhý), ale predsalen iba kúsok vystrihnem a pošlem vás ísť si prečítať zvyšok tam
Childrearing can be tedious, or easy, or challenging — usually each or all in turns. But the kicker is, the key and secret that those who denigrate childrearing never acknowledge, is that what children most need, more than organized playrooms or clean tables or even getting to schools, is to have adults who love them so deeply and broadly and fiercely that we’ll do the reflexive work of parenting. They need us not merely to be centered, but to center ourselves: they need to see how we wobble and return and be broken and yet thrive and be triggered and move on. They need us, us, whole and human and damaged and glorious, they need us bodies and breasts and arms and laps and minds and souls and they will eat us down and leave us drained and that is what they are supposed to do. It is what we did, what I did, what you did, and we can see this as a horror, or we can see it as a gift, or we can see it, we can know it, as life. Life. Just life.
pri príležitosti nadchádzajúcich amerických prezidentských volieb
o laserových ukazovátkach namierených na mesiac – autor výborného xkcd komixu začal písať “čo keby?” články; sú dobré
Herbert and Dorothy Vogel – zaujímaví zberatelia umenia (ako sa im to do toho bytu zmestilo?)
On the surface, Herbert Vogel and his wife Dorothy lived an ordinary life in New York. Mr Vogel, who died on Sunday aged 89, used to work nights sorting mail at the city’s post offices, and his wife was a reference librarian in Brooklyn. But over the years, the couple built up one of the world’s most unlikely – and most significant – collections of modern art, and bequeathed much of it to the National Gallery of Art in Washington.
ako sa robia bábätká
jeden z dôvodov, načo máme feminizmus
A new study on violence against women conducted over four decades and in 70 countries reveals the mobilization of feminist movements is more important for change than the wealth of nations, left-wing political parties, or the number of women politicians.
google books – čo všeličo sa dá pozrieť, keď máte k dispozícii naskenovaných 12% všetkých publikovaných kníh
Ste mladá žena. Veziete sa výťahom. Okrem Vás je vo výťahu iba jeden muž, ktorého ste nikdy predtým nevideli. Ten zrazu stlačí gombík Stop a výťah sa zastaví.
Nie. Prvá vec, ktorá Vás napadne je, že sa k Vám môže pridať sestra-dvojča a rozdáte si to do trojky. A druhá, že možno ste trojčatá a môžte to robiť spolu štyria.
Toto som si dnes pozrela v telke v reklame na pánsky telový šampón. (Na youtube som našla len nie úplne rovnakú anglickú verziu.)
Nielenže to nie je vtipné, ale spýtajte sa seba, mamy, sestry, dcéry, susedky, kamarátky alebo hocijakej inej ženy vo vašom živote, aké opatrenia podvedome v živote robí? Ako zvažuje, čo si oblečie? Kedy pôjde mestskou hromadnou dopravou? Kde zaparkuje auto pred obchoďákom? Ako nadväzuje očný kontakt s neznámymi mužmi? Za akých okolností prejde na chodník na druhej strane cesty?
(Nehovorím, že je to správne. Práve naopak. Mali by sa cítiť dostatočne bezpečne na to, aby sa mohli pohybovať kedykoľvek, kdekoľvek, bez ohľadu na to, aká dlhá je práve ich sukňa, aká je denná alebo nočná doba a koľko pohárikov vypili.)
Ale spýtajte sa ich aj na to, čo ich prvé napadne v hypotetickej situácii popísanej vyššie.
Jasné, je to len reklama, ja nemám zmysel pre humor a zase hľadám zlý úmysel tam, kde nie je… toto je len ďalšia z milión malých vecí, ktoré spolu tvoria jeden veľký problém – žena ako objekt, predmet. Bez ohľadu na jej realitu, jej primárna úloha je napĺňať predstavy (pokojne aj náhodného) muža.
vzdelanie pre všetkých:
ešte raz k Olypiáde – prečo nie sú víťazstvá Jima Thorpa stále uznané
On the second day, Thorpe’s shoes were missing. Warner hastily put together a mismatched pair in time for the high jump, which Thorpe won. Later that afternoon came one of his favorite events, the 110-meter hurdles. Thorpe blistered the track in 15.6 seconds, again quicker than Bob Mathias would run it in ’48.
On the final day of competition, Thorpe placed third and fourth in the events in which he was most inexperienced, the pole vault and javelin. Then came the very last event, the 1,500-meter run. The metric mile was a leg-burning monster that came after nine other events over two days. And he was still in mismatched shoes.
Thorpe left cinders in the faces of his competitors. He ran it in 4 minutes 40.1 seconds. Faster than anyone in 1948. Faster than anyone in 1952. Faster than anyone in 1960—when he would have beaten Rafer Johnson by nine seconds. No Olympic decathlete, in fact, could beat Thorpe’s time until 1972. As Neely Tucker of the Washington Post pointed out, even today’s reigning gold medalist in the decathlon, Bryan Clay, would beat Thorpe by only a second.
včera vo veku 82 rokov zomrel Neil Armstrong, prvý človek, ktorý chodil po Mesiaci; článok o pristátí, ktorý 21. júla 1969 priniesli New York Times
každá žena by mala cestovať sama
At the age of 27, I got in my aquamarine Honda and drove 26,000 miles around the country for five months by myself. It was foolish and lonely and 10 years later, I still think it might be the best thing I’ve ever done. I wore clothes till they were filthy and lived on baked beans and peanut butter, but the luxury of that time is unimaginable to me now, because I woke up every morning with no one’s agenda but my own. What did I want to see today? Where did I want to go?
There is a poignant scene near the end of “Wild.” Cheryl Strayed’s mother is close to death, and she tells her daughter, “I never got to be in the driver’s seat of my own life … I always did what someone else wanted me to do. I’ve always been someone else’s daughter or mother or wife. I’ve never just been me.” God, that moment cut me. Boyfriends are nice, and careers are important, but I think this is all I’ve ever been after: to just be me.
málo ale o to zaujímavejšie:
analýza seba samého – Stephen Wolfram, zakladateľ Wolfram|Alpha, analyzuje dáta, ktoré o sebe nazbieral; fascinujúce
One day I’m sure everyone will routinely collect all sorts of data about themselves. But because I’ve been interested in data for a very long time, I started doing this long ago. I actually assumed lots of other people were doing it too, but apparently they were not. And so now I have what is probably one of the world’s largest collections of personal data.
už nechcem byť feministka
Most of all, I am tired of knowing. Knowing that my eyes have been opened, and that what has been seen cannot be unseen. I am tired of knowing it, when I see something that is wrong. I am tired of knowing that only speaking out can change it. I am tired of knowing exactly how hard and scary it can be to do so. I am tired of knowing that if I am not careful, the fight will eat up my hope and strength, and leave me only with bitterness. I am tired of knowing that I can never turn back to not knowing. I am tired of knowing that despite my fears and exhaustion, I am a feminist.
dvaja HIV pacienti po transplantácii bez vírusu. Mohla by to byť cesta k liečbe?
One patient is HIV-free two years later, and the other is seemingly uninfected three-and-a-half years later.
“They still have no detectable HIV DNA in their T-cells,” Kuritzkes said. In fact, doctors can’t find any trace of HIV in their bodies — not in their blood plasma, not when they grow cells in the lab dishes, not by the most sensitive tests.
Can the patients be told they are cured?
“We’re being very careful not to do that,” Kuritzkes said.
a ešte niečo na pobavenie